Matthew Kenney: Plant-Based Culinary Guru (EP 49: The Vegan Life Coach Podcast)

I couldn’t have been more excited to interview plant-based culinary guru Matthew Kenney.

LISTEN/WATCH

Subscribe: Apple Podcast | Stitcher | Spotify |  YouTube

*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


With a career spanning decades, a lifestyle brand, and over fifty restaurants opened in his image or with his name, Matthew Kenney is someone I have great respect for. I was honored that he made the time to have this intriguing conversation for The Vegan Life Coach Podcast. 

Matthew Kenney, A Bio

Matthew Kenney is the founder and CEO of Matthew Kenney Cuisine (MKC). The MKC business is an integrated, California-based lifestyle company that provides high-quality products and services in the culinary arts and wellness markets. Matthew’s company, MKC, holds places in six business categories: education, hospitality, wellness, services, products, and media. They operate in more than ten major cities across the globe. 

Most of the work that MKC does is based on innovative and proprietary techniques that can help prepare minimally processed, plant-based foods that are refined and healthy. MKC sees things differently, especially when it comes to food. 

Everything Matthew’s company does is based on the desire to bring culinary art and ultimate nutrition together. 

Matthew, himself, is a graduate of the French Culinary Institute in New York City. He is the author of 18 cookbooks, operates 16 restaurants in ten countries over five continents. He has been named one of America’s Best New Chefs by Food & Wine Magazine. 

“A good chef can be a magician of sorts, but no amount of magic can make up for subpar ingredients. Being fanatical about quality is not something that only restaurant or professional chefs should take into consideration.”

My Conversation with Matthew Kenney

Over his career, more than fifty restaurants have been opened with Matthew Kenny’s help, and he can speak to the lessons that came with each experience. It’s crucial for anyone who wants to be an entrepreneur, to be willing to take calculated risks. As intelligent as Matthew is, it was his passion that drove him at the beginning of his career, and it is one part of why he became so wildly successful. 

“Chefs can either be drug dealers or food healers.” 

When I brought up this quote to Matthew Kenney and told him how much I loved it, he explained to me how this quote is a little more sensational than his personality tends to be. However, he did mention that veganism can be equated to how everyone in the 80s, his parents included, smoked. Once doctors discovered how hazardous tobacco was to our health, and began disseminating this information, we eventually stopped allowing smoking in restaurants, in planes, and so on. Now, if someone tried to light up a cigarette in a plane, people would freak out!

While more provocative than how he tries to get his messages across to people, this analogy is something that Matthew can equate to eating a plant-based diet.

Matthew wants to be part of shifting the global food paradigm so that plants become the norm. Although he doesn’t believe in preaching or forcing anyone to follow his beliefs, he certainly has been the catalyst for countless people to rethink their food habits and make the transition to veganism. 

He feels motivated knowing he can bring positive change to the environment, animals, human health and get the opportunity to do something creative and fulfilling through spreading his passion. 

A raw vegan diet should be all plants that can be eaten raw or kept below a specific temperature (which there are some disagreements on) whole, plant-based, fruits, vegetables, healthy plant-based fats (avocado, coconut, sprouted seeds and nuts) and legumes.

Because there weren’t standardized techniques, gourmet vegan restaurants, or even gourmet vegan food for such a long time, there was no structure to Matthew’s vegan menus at first. He would come up with dishes during yoga or walking down the street and begin to experiment and create. 

When he opened his culinary school, he realized he needed structure to his planning, menus, and how to eat vegan. This opportunity gave the school so many various options to make new dishes (and from the looks of those dishes, they’re also pieces of art!). 

Because many of the students were from all over the world, they bring their knowledge of veganism to the school. Between that, the new methods Matthew was learning, and with the use of new tools that were used in vegan restaurants around the country, a new way to look at veganism in the culinary world began to form. 

This new view helped Matthew ultimately change how he developed new recipes and helped shape what we know about plant-based cuisine. 

Six or seven years ago, he began funneling down the possibilities of how to bring veganism into more focused ideas like vegan-French cuisine. He brought a test kitchen to California and has Michelin star chefs creating new recipes, and new techniques. 

While Matthew’s business is worldwide, he always knew that flying from place to place was not the most efficient use of his time. He wanted to use technology to supplement how his company worked. The pandemic, allowed him to use technology more effectively and helped his business, the school included, get a chance to dig into the technological realm. 

When I asked him what kitchen tool he can’t live without, Matthew replied, “a chef’s knife.” With a sharp knife, you can do everything. Everyone should have an outstanding chef’s knife and a sharpener. There are so many good options to finding a knife, so finding what feels good is the most important thing. The second, most important thing is to sharpen the blade on a sharpening stone every day. It will transform your cooking experience.

Three Question Sprint Round

List three staple ingredients you never let run out in your kitchen.

Olive oil, Lemon, and Seasalt. Or, if you’d like something a little more exciting, avocado, sauerkraut, and lemons.

A healthy dish anyone can make in minutes? 

Guacamole

If you were a non-human animal, what would you be? 

A fox. I love foxes, they are clever, but they play a lot. They have beautiful fur, and they love the outdoors.


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Matthew Kenney’s Website

Food Future Institute

Matthew Kenney’s Instagram

Matthew Kenney’s Facebook Page

 


CONNECT WITH US!

Take Our New Going Vegan Quiz HERE!  

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

Hogs & Kisses Farm Sanctuary Website

Stop Working Out to Burn Calories… Start Seeing RESULTS! (EP 47: The Vegan Life Coach Podcast)

Can you guess how many burpees you’d have to do to burn off the calories of just 3 Oreo Cookies (1 serving)?

LISTEN/WATCH

Subscribe: Apple Podcast | Stitcher | Spotify |  YouTube

*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


Check out episode  47 of The Vegan Life Coach Podcast to find out!

I use this phrase a lot: “You can’t outrun your fork,” meaning that no matter how insanely hard you work out if you’re eating unhealthy foods, you simply will not get results (which for most people means weight loss)… At least not for long.

So many people are stuck in a self-sabotaging cycle, using exercise to try to burn off the calories they feel guilty about consuming, which is not only unsustainable but flat out makes you miserable and can lead to injuries.

In this episode, we talk about the powerful mindset shifts that have helped our clients see permanent results, including weight loss and a strong, fit body for life. 

Make sure you’re a member of our Empowered Vegan Life tribe to join us for tons of FREE opportunities to help you build healthy habits and adopt an empowered vegan lifestyle that brings you joy, freedom, and abundance!


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE


CONNECT WITH US!

Take Our New Going Vegan Quiz HERE!  

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

Hogs & Kisses Farm Sanctuary Website

Vegan Tri Guys on Veganism, Chronic Fatigue, & Following Your Passion (EP 40: The Vegan Life Coach Podcast)

In this intriguing episode I sit down with James Aubry, aka @VeganTriGuys and we chat it up about a number of topics that a ton of our listeners will relate to.

LISTEN/WATCH

Subscribe: Apple Podcast | Stitcher | Spotify |  YouTube

*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


James is a plant-powered cyclist and triathlete with an inspirational story of resilience. We talk about his battle with chronic fatigue, his journey into veganism, and the courageous step he took away from the corporate world to follow his passion.

Here’s a little bit about James, in his words…

In James’s own words:

I’m James, from London, England. I have been into endurance sport my entire life, it runs through my veins. It’s been a rollercoaster ride though in terms of health. After getting onto the British Cycling Youth Development Programme at 16 years old, I was on my way to fulfilling my dream of becoming a pro cyclist.

At the age of 17 however, I was struck by chronic fatigue, which plagued me on and off for 12 years. I eventually discovered veganism which helped me manage these symptoms, which haven’t returned since.

Veganism wasn’t without it’s challenges though, I learned first hand that a vegan diet isn’t necessary healthy if you eat a lot of refined/processed food, and you cannot out-exercise an unhealthy diet.

Coming from a history of disordered eating, I overcame food-restricting patterns by adopting a whole food, plant based diet, which is what I eat and recommend.

I have recently quit my engineering job in the corporate world to start Humble Hedgehog Productions and pursue my passion for videography. My mission is to use my talent to create content that will motivate and inspire people to make a positive impact on the Planet.


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Take Our New Going Vegan Quiz HERE!  (Plus an opportunity to book a Discovery Session with Ella!)

@VeganTriGuys on Instagram

Vegan Tri Guys on Facebook

Humble Hedgehog Productions on Facebook

Hogs & Kisses Farm Sanctuary

Gary Yourofsky‘s Talk

Live Ultimate (the supplement I mention in the intro)


CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

Practical Tips for Busy People to Eat More Whole Foods (EP 26: The Vegan Life Coach Podcast)

Christin McKamey is the owner of VeggieChick.com, a site dedicated to whole food, plant-based recipes with a strong focus on the world of produce.

LISTEN/WATCH

Subscribe: Apple Podcast | Stitcher | Spotify |  YouTube

*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


Christin creates delicious veggie-focused plant-based recipes (with many oil-free and gluten-free options), as well as offering tips and tools to help others live and maintain a plant-powered lifestyle.

She has a Plant-Based Nutrition certification from e-Cornell, a certification from the Forks Over Knives Rouxbe Cooking School, and has also attended Vegan Fusion plant-based cooking classes. Christin lives in Royal Oak, Michigan with her husband and cat, Chloe.

Here is a summary of what was discussed in this podcast episode:

  • Batch Cooking Tips– things I do to ensure success for the week. Note: I don’t always do this, but when I do, I do find I make healthier choices.
    • Grocery shopping on Saturday, prepping a couple hours on Sunday
    • Things I do during prepping:
      • Wash, dry and chop vegetables; place in airtight, sealed containers.
      • Chop veggies that are versatile in many dishes, such as bell peppers, mushrooms, and onions.
      • Soak nuts and seeds if required.
      • Marinate tempeh or tofu.
      • Make a couple of versatile dips or dressings that will last in the refrigerator for a few days.
      • Freeze grains- portion into 1 or 2 cup portions and freeze in freezer bags or containers.
    • Decide a few ways you can make multiple dishes with the same ingredients. I love making what I call multi-way bowls (see more info below), soups, salads, tacos, chili, etc. You can also do a stir-fry or a salad bar.

 

  • Time Saving Techniques
    • Always read recipes once or twice to make sure you have everything before going to the grocery store. Some recipes might be missing an ingredient in the ingredients list that is listed in the directions instead.
    • Plan your route at the grocery store. Once you create your shopping list, put things in order of where they are located in the store.
    • Stock your kitchen with simple bulk ingredients to use in a pinch, such as all types of grains, dried beans, pasta, spaghetti sauce, frozen and canned vegetables.  Think of a few meals you can make for dinner throughout the week and how you can use some of those same ingredients in other recipes.
    • Add veggies to everything! I try to make sure every meal I have, has at least 2 (and most of the time many more) veggies. Onions, peppers, and mushrooms are very versatile.
    • Don’t like veggies? Try a new vegetable every week (or month).
    • Batch cooking can save a ton of time! Chop veggies or prepare grains in advance. Make variations of salads with different toppings, etc. Freeze scraps of veggies and make homemade veggie broth. Pick one day for grocery shopping, another for prepping. Setting aside 90 minutes-2 hours per week is all you need to save yourself tons of time during the week.
    • Make double or triple the amount the recipe calls for. You can enjoy it for at least a couple meals, or have a healthy lunch the next day. Pack away your lunch immediately after dinner and you’ll be all set.
    • Experiment with one-pot meal recipes. It makes life a lot easier when you only have one pan to wash. These types of dishes also tend to freeze and reheat well. You can even label with cooking instructions to make it easier for you or your family to reheat.
    • Easy smoothie prep: add fruit, veggies, etc. to a blender and put in the fridge the night before. In the morning, all you have to do is take out the blender, add liquid, and blend.
    • Serve your dinner in large glass containers (instead of serving bowls) so you can go straight from the table to the fridge. Less dishes.

And lastly, she has included 2 PDF’s to share…

  1. Time-Saving Techniques- tips for saving time and making healthy choices in your kitchen.
  2. Multi-Way Bowl– an easy option for meal ideas, and so versatile! Start with a grain. Add a protein if you want (lentils, tofu, seitan, beans, etc.). Add vegetables. And then top with a sauce. Add some toppings (nuts, seeds, etc.) Enjoy!

 


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Vegan Life Coach Academy

acebook.com/veggiechickrecipes/  

twitter.com/VeggieChick7  

instagram.com/veggie__chick/  

pinterest.com/veggiechick7

Sign up for her newsletter: veggiechick.com


CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

10 Tips for Transitioning That Will Save Your Relationships (EP 25: The Vegan Life Coach Podcast)

 If going vegan has put a strain on your current relationships or you want to avoid ruining your relationships as you transition to a vegan lifestyle these ten power tips are sure to help. 

LISTEN/WATCH

Subscribe: Apple Podcast | Stitcher | Spotify |  YouTube

*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


Going vegan and obtaining the support of friends and family is a common struggle for many who make the choice to live a vegan lifestyle. On last week’s episode Stephanie shared her story of going vegan and broke down the 5 stages that family and friends go through. 

Today Stephanie is giving 10 tips for transitioning that will save your relationships. If going vegan has put a strain on your current relationships or you want to avoid ruining your relationships as you transition to a vegan lifestyle  these ten power tips are sure to help. 

Stephanie discuss these tips in depth in this episode: 

  1. Define your boundaries.  Once Stephanie committed to veganism, she decided she was no longer going to or cook meat. 
  2. Talk about going vegan and answer questions.  Stephanie decided to use a lot of I-statements to demonstrate that she was taking responsibility for her own choices. Often times talking about veganism can challenge the way people see themselves as ethical, whole, compassionate human beings. So she plans ahead for these moments when she will be asked questions.
  3. Have a sense of humor. Because Stephanie is able to laugh at herself she believes that really rebunks that stereotype of the angry, raging vegan. And thus laughing about these things becomes easier for my family and for my relationships. Most vegans will be the victims of malicious jokes, Stepahnie says, but generally the people in our lives are really just poking fun.
  4. Get educated about nutrition for yourself and your kids. And this is the right spot for you. This program was the foundation for Stepahnie’s nutritional metamorphosis for my family. There are tons of great cookbooks and resources out there. Getting educated about nutrition is not only good for you. It’s good for your kids. And it’s good for that mom guilt too. When Stephanie knows that what she’s putting in front of her kids is nutritionally sound, then she knows that without a shadow of a doubt that mom guilt can not creep in. And if it does, she can challenge it at every level.
  5. Keep it simple. Especially if you’re cooking for a family. When Stephanie’s family got curious, she  started with breakfast smoothies. Now everyone gets a smoothie for breakfast. 
  6. Stop preparing two completely different meals. You are not a restaurant.  When Stephanie went vegan she started preparing one dish and it was always a vegan main dish. She was okay with them adding animal protein to the side themselves. but she stopped saying she was going to prepare what everybody’s dish was. She wasn’t a short order cook. 
  7. Veganize your favorite dishes. Stephanie suggests exploring new dishes with familiar flavors. One of her families favorites? Stir-frys, and mexican food. 
  8. Honor other people’s gestures and be flexible without compromising your values. Stephanie says to be appreciative of the steps that people take that might help you feel included and comfortable. Make a really big deal out of it. The one gesture Stephanie does that has never failed her? Telling her friends and family how much she loves to cook and offering to bring whatever they’d like her too. 
  9. Connect with other vegan families. Stephanie has a a great Facebook community in her local area that has meetups and suggest finding on in your local area to connect with others who are like-minded and whose beliefs are similar. 
  10. Promote vegan role models, especially if you have kids. Stephanie sees the importance to introduce her children to people that they can look up to in all aspects of their lives. 

We hope these 10 tips are useful for you and your family. We encourage you to take an honest account of where you are in your own journey and where your loved ones might be in theirs. Accept where you’re powerless and challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening because that’s really where your power is in your own response to what’s going on around you. Use these tips as you transition to navigate the tough terrain of relationships with family and friends. 

 


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Vegan Life Coach Academy


CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

Going Vegan: When Your Family or Friends Aren’t on Board (EP 24: The Vegan Life Coach Podcast)

Based on a recent survey we did with our listeners, going vegan without the support of your family or friends is a struggle that a lot of people share.

LISTEN/WATCH

Subscribe: Apple Podcast | Stitcher | Spotify |  YouTube

*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


Based on a recent survey we did with our listeners, going vegan without the support of your family or friends is a struggle that a lot of people share.

My story is exceptional in that I knew when I was just 7 years old that eating animals was a hard “No.” It didn’t matter to me one bit that nobody I knew was vegetarian. At 15 I fully understood the suffering of all farm animals and went fully vegan and knew my purpose in life was to save animals. My compassion for animals ran so deep that ridicule was not a deterrence. (My family followed in my footsteps and went vegetarian and then vegan as well!)

Stephanie however, represents our listeners to a much higher level. In this episode, Stephanie shares her personal story, discussing what went down each of the 4 times she attempted to make the transition to a vegan lifestyle. It took 4 attempts before it stuck, and she has dissected the reasons why, all of which are likely to resonate with others in similar positions.

In short, here are the reasons:

Attempt #1: Stephanie’s family was quick to remind her that she was raised by farmers, and that her family’s background in farming was how she was afforded a comfortable upbringing. Family guilt!

Attempt #2: Stephanie’s Insecurity as a new mom, being told by others that her children would not thrive on a plant-based diet, led her to succumb to “mom-guilt!”

Attempt #3: Stephanie’s overall lack of self-confidence caused her to give into what was comfortable and safe. She wasn’t confident in her choices, and wasn’t able to counter the criticism and ridicule from others from a place of compassion and education. 

Attempt #4 (Success!): Here are the self-realizations as to WHY Stephanie was successful…

  1. Stephanie realized that her relationships are equally important as her life choices. She concluded that other’s thoughts and feelings about her choices are not important, BUT her relationships ARE important. This is a distinction that takes a lot of self-awareness and self-confidence!
  2. Stephanie realized that she was the one changing the rules, so she was required to fuel her own progress with empathy toward the people in her life, giving up the idea of perfection in relationships. There were going to be tough conversations, and she was able to be assertive instead of aggressive.
  3. She was able to embrace a vegan lifestyle with the consideration of being the caretaker of her three kiddos. She was able to set boundaries and not succumb to handle her “mom guilt.” She had to step back and explore her conflicting feelings with, as we say in VLCA, approach her thoughts with curiosity and compassion. From that place she has been able to navigate the changing dynamics within her family.
  4. Stephanie made the transition solely about herself. She went vegan in “stealth mode,” didn’t make a big announcement until she had established her vegan lifestyle with confidence.

Once she felt good about her own journey, Stephanie started sharing her new lifestyle with her family and friends.

In doing so, she noticed that most of the time, people she told went through 5 stages. The stages, which she describes in depth in the episode are:

  1. Defiance 
  2. Resistance 
  3. Curiosity 
  4. Acceptance
  5. Embracing

On our next episode, we’ll be sharing 10 powerful tips for going vegan without ruining your relationships in the process.


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Vegan Life Coach Academy


CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

Scale Obsession: How to Let Go Without Letting Yourself Go (EP 23: The Vegan Life Coach Podcast)

According to Harvard Health, for most dieters, preventing the pounds from coming back, after working so hard to lose them, is the biggest challenge. On average, people regain two-thirds of the weight that they’ve lost within two years.

LISTEN/WATCH

Subscribe: Apple Podcast | Stitcher | Spotify |  YouTube

*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


One way people try to prevent gaining (or regaining) weight is through daily weigh-ins.

On one hand, this idea makes logical sense. When the number on the scale starts to increase, you know it’s time to tighten up the diet and/or hit the gym more. We hear clients say, “I’ve got to catch myself before my weight gets out of control.”

For some people, keeping a high level of awareness on small  changes in their weight can be motivating… But at what mental and emotional cost? True health isn’t just about the number on the scale… It includes mental and emotional health too.

First off, one problem is that daily fluctuations in weight is normal and to be expected due to differences in water retention from one day to the next. People often interpret a one-pound weight gain as FAT gain, and freak out. The scale doesn’t differentiate the weight of bone, fluid, muscle and fat.

The number on the scale all too often dictates a person’s mood. So what is a normal variation in weight, can literally ruin someone’s day for no logical reason.

At Vegan Life Coach Academy we talk about “finding your why.”

Next time you get on the scale we challenge you to ask yourself, “Why?”

Your answer is going to come from one of two places:

  1. FEAR. Fear of not being _____ enough. (Fill in the blank (e.g. skinny, pretty, etc.)
  2. LOVE. Loving and respecting yourself and your body so much that you make conscious and mindful choices about what you put in your body and how you move your body. (Hint: If you self-sabotage you’re not embodying true self-love.)

In this episode we explore why your obsession with the scale is causing more harm than good. Why daily weigh-ins are setting you up to stay stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage. Why constantly worrying about your weight is likely a reflection of low self-worth and shame.

What if you could focus on eating and training out of love and respect for yourself and your body? I’ll tell you! You will eat healthy, whole foods and workout the right amount so that the pounds will take care of themselves. 

No scale necessary!

We finish up with a challenge… Ditch your scale for an entire month and binge listen to the Vegan Life Coach Podcast!


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Episode 17: Busyness   |   5-Day Quick and Simple Whole Foods & Fitness Challenge  |   Vegan Life Coach Academy


CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

Boundaries Part 2 (The Vegan Life Coach Podcast Episode 22)

If you haven’t listened to episode 21, part 1 of our 2-part series on boundaries, check it out HERE first!

LISTEN/WATCH

Subscribe: Apple Podcast | Stitcher | Spotify |  YouTube

*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


Setting and sustaining boundaries is a skill. Unfortunately, it’s a skill that many of us didn’t necessarily learn growing up. We may have picked up a few pointers here or there, but in reality, it can be very challenging and feel really uncomfortable when we first begin setting those boundaries. 

I have a few steps that will help get you started.

Step #1

First, look to your emotions to help you name your limits. Two really good indicators of boundary violations are discomfort and resentment. If you are feeling uncomfortable, you can likely point to a boundary being violated from the outside. 

If you are feeling resentment, that is often an indicator that you have pushed yourself beyond your limit to avoid feelings of guilt, or you are giving in to someone imposing their expectations or views on you. You are responding by violating our own limits.

Step #2

Pay attention to your feelings and become clear about your own limits, both internally and externally. You can’t set good boundaries if you’re unsure of where you stand. 

Identify your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual limits. Consider what you can tolerate and accept, and identify what makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed. Those feelings coupled with your understanding of your values help us identify what our limits are.

Take a moment to think of some examples of where your limits might be. For example, you may find that you are uncomfortable when your best friend asks you for money.  This might be a mental and emotional limit that you are wanting to set with your friends and family. You do not lend money because everyone has a different philosophy when it comes to money, and it is something that tends to cause a lot of conflict, so that is your particular limit.  

Another might be that you become stressed when your children have a lot of the neighborhood kids over. Maybe this is your line. Your children can play with the neighborhood kids in the yard or the garage but not in the house. This is an example of setting a physical boundary. 

Maybe your partner expects you to take on the bulk of the responsibility for the household; however, this is something that you find impossible to do successfully.  It is okay to set the boundaries for those areas that you are willing to take responsibility for and no more.

Step #3

The next step is to give yourself permission to set boundaries and work to preserve them. When setting new boundaries, emotional pitfalls can cause us to wonder why we deserve to have boundaries in the first place. Fear, guilt and self-doubt are big potential pitfalls. 

It can feel strange when we start to set boundaries because we aren’t used to creating these limits. We might fear the other person’s response if we set and enforce our boundaries. We might feel guilty by speaking up or saying no to a family member. For example, many believe that they should be able to cope with a situation or say yes because they’re a good daughter or son, even though they “feel drained or taken advantage of.” This can cause some self doubt… So much so that we might wonder if we even deserve to have boundaries in the first place.  

It’s important to keep going back to why you set the boundaries in the first place. Creating that line and holding to it creates a healthier you and healthier relationships in the long run.

Boundaries are all about honing in on your feelings and honoring them. If you notice yourself slipping and not sustaining your boundaries, ask yourself some questions…

What’s changed from when I set this limit? Consider the situation. “What I am doing or [what is] the other person doing?” or “What about this situation is making me resentful or uncomfortable or stressed?” 

Then, examine your options: “What am I going to do about the situation?” “What do I have control over?”

You might also consider the roles you play, and commit to putting yourself as the leading role in your life. It is not only okay, but also necessary to put yourself first and to consider your needs just as important as the needs of others.  

Prioritize self-care. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish… It is necessary for a healthy life. Putting yourself first also gives you the energy, peace of mind, and positive outlook to be more present with others and be there for them. When we’re in a better place, we can be a better wife, mother, husband, co-worker or friend.

Step #4

If you’re having a hard time with boundaries, seek some support, whether that means finding a support group, church, or seeking counseling, coaching or time with good friends. 

About 13 years ago, I went through a divorce. It was painful and devastating as most divorces are. But when I came out of the emotional haze, I started really analyzing what went wrong. 

It came down to boundaries…. I didn’t have any, and my ex didn’t meet a boundary he couldn’t violate. I knew it was imperative that I build them.  First of all, I didn’t have them in my marriage, and I didn’t have them anywhere. 

Secondly, I had to form a new relationship with this person…We had children and he wasn’t going away. Finding support was the key.  I found a church that had a support group based on forming boundaries and the book, Boundaries: When to Say Yes and How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by John Townsend and Henry Cloud.  

The support group was a game changer, not only for my relationship with my ex husband but for my relationships with others. I don’t think this would have been possible without the education and support that I took hold of during that time.  I can tell you now that my ex husband and I have a great relationship.  One in which my children never have to choose between their parents, and one in which I can honestly say that he and I are friends.

Step #5

It’s not enough to create boundaries; we actually have to follow through. Even though we know intellectually that people aren’t mind readers, we still expect others to know what hurts us, or makes us uncomfortable or stressed. Since they don’t know, it’s important to assertively communicate this when a boundary is crossed. Most of the time, it is just about being direct and communicating respectfully with the other person (or yourself) so that you can work it out together.

I want to point out that there is a world of difference between being assertive and being aggressive. To hold firm to healthy boundaries it’s vital to communicate those before you feel the need to become aggressive with another individual. 

Being Assertive puts forth your needs and views confidently and directly. Being assertive is simply standing up for yourself while still considering that others have different views than your own and that yours are equally important. It is becoming your own best advocate.  

Aggressive behaviors can sometimes look like you’re living the life of a Neanderthal, where the biggest club is equal to the loudest voice. I’ve noticed in my own work that sometimes aggressiveness is mistaken for strength, when in fact, aggressiveness really notes a lack of control and a lack of respect for boundaries.  

Like any new skill, assertively communicating your boundaries takes practice. So, if this is something new to you, I suggest starting with a small boundary that isn’t threatening to you, and then incrementally increasing to more challenging boundaries. Build upon your success. Setting boundaries takes courage, practice and support.

If you aren’t used to setting these limits with people, it can be difficult at first. Your inner people pleaser will be screaming at the top of her lungs! That’s okay. Let her scream, and start with something small. 

Maybe you will want to start with your partner and block off an hour of time on the weekends where you do something completely for yourself and by yourself while he or she takes the responsibilities of the kids. 

Maybe it is less threatening to start with a co-worker who is often teasing you about your healthy food choices or your vegan food choices, and you simply have a conversation with that person about not appreciating the teasing and why. 

Maybe it is with your children and the amount of money you are spending on their impulse buys at the grocery store, and setting the limit before you go that you are only buying the things that are on your list and if they request something extra, you will say, “No.”

As you build confidence in this, that inner people-pleaser will stop screaming, and you can start on the bigger boundaries where you anticipate a little more push back from those around you.

– Stephanie Hamilton Aguilar, Vegan Life Coach Academy, Master Mindset Coach


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Episode 21   |   Vegan Life Coach Academy


CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

Finding Your “Why” with Vegan Bodybuilder Roger Smith (Vegan Life Coach Podcast Episode 20)

Pro-bodybuilder, entrepreneur, and motivational speaker Roger Smith has 19 years as a vegan under his belt. Roger’s mission is to uplift, embrace and promote Veganism, particularly within the Latin American community.

LISTEN/WATCH

Subscribe: Apple Podcast | Stitcher | Spotify |  YouTube

*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


In this special episode, Roger and I had a blast discussing a wide range of powerful topics related to veganism and fitness. 

Roger’s positive outlook on life, his passion for being a voice for the voiceless, and dedication to making a positive impact on the lives of people is inspiring.

One of the ways he helps people make the transition to a healthy vegan lifestyle is by encouraging them to connect with their “why.” 

Getting clear on his “why” is how Roger was able to go vegan overnight himself, and how he has been able to achieve his pro bodybuilding card after winning the third bodybuilding show he had ever competed in.

Get ready for a jam-packed episode with information and motivation to help you step into your power, align your actions with your values, and achieve not only a healthy, fit body, but also a happy and meaningful life.


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Roger Smith’s Website and Links


CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.

Episode 17: The Busyness Trap

Busy is a drug that a lot of people are addicted to.  -Rob Bell

LISTEN/WATCH

Subscribe: Apple Podcast | Stitcher | Spotify |  YouTube

*Links mentioned in the episode are at the bottom of this page.


Busyness is not a reality, it’s only your perceived reality. It’s a state of mind, meaning it’s all in your head, coming from your thoughts. 

Think about it, for someone who’s used to doing very little, having a few errands to run one day can have him/her saying, “It’s a busy day.” It’s simply about WHAT you’re busy doing!

Busyness is a perception of your reality. Life is made up of present moments, and life therefore cannot be busy. Only your mind can be busy. We’ve programmed our brains to believe being busy is how we operate, and that it’s outside of our control. We’ve created a personality of being busy, and our personality creates our personal reality!

We are the energy we create and put out into the Universe, so as long as we keep saying we’re busy, we will always let busyness run our lives and keep us in a state of overwhelm.

Saying you’re busy is also a great cop-out. It’s an easy excuse. We can justify anything by blaming it on being busy.

The word “busy” tends to have a negative connotation in a lot of cases because of the feelings of overwhelm, worry, and anxiety that come along with it. Busy can also have a positive connotation though. If you’re an entrepreneur and you’re busy with an influx of business, chances are you are pumped and excited about being busy!

So, what are you really telling yourself when you say you’re busy? What are you making it mean?

The thought, “I’m busy,” could mean, “I don’t think I have enough time to check everything off my to-do list” which can trigger negative emotions/anxiety. Consider this though… There will ALWAYS be something on your to-do list! Once you check one thing off, you add another. There is no “arrival.” So what are you in such a hurry for? This is a journey!

When you think, “I’m busy,” ask, “So what? What does that really mean?” Maybe it’s that you have booked your schedule solid and did not plan for any rest, time to simply “be”, or for self-care including meal prepping and being physically active in an enjoyable way.

Being busy has nothing to do with being productive. In fact, thinking you’re busy is counter-productive. If your mental space is consumed with thoughts of how busy you are, that space and mental energy is not being used to actually get anything accomplished. It’s more of a distraction than anything. 

By the way, you simply can’t be busy (or think you’re busy) when you’re truly living in the present moment. So when you decide on what you’re doing during a certain time frame, be there and put your full attention and focus on that thing you’re doing. Like magic, the busyness disappears. Why? Because it actually doesn’t exist! That’s why being present is one major antidote to busyness.

Great things happen when we give up the myth of busyness. In the mindset of busyness, the  thought is often, “my plate is full.” But watch what happens when you give up the notion that you’re busy. All of a sudden, your plate actually expands. It’s quite amazing!

We encourage you to commit to going the next month without saying, “I’m busy.” And when you think it, acknowledge the thought, and come up with a new thought to clarify what’s really going on.

———————-

We’d love to hear about your experience listening to this episode, and how helpful you found it to be (or not to be)! Email [email protected]. I read and reply to every email myself because your feedback is so incredibly valuable… This podcast is for YOU!


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Vegan Life Coach AcademyEpisode 4


CONNECT WITH US!

Grab the valuable gift we have for you HERE.

Have a question you’d like us to answer, or feedback you’d like to give us (we love hearing from you!)? Leave us a voice (or written) message HERE.

Interested in receiving a free coaching session to air on an upcoming episode? Apply HERE.